


Dean Winchester is nobody's boyfriend.

by allthewrongreasons



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bisexual Dean, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Sleepovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-20 13:52:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14262402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allthewrongreasons/pseuds/allthewrongreasons
Summary: Shy high school junior Castiel navigates a new school and new friends! Dean is a senior and works at a music store. He's got enough on his plate with his job, girls at school, and basically raising his little brother, but that cute junior in his English class has caught his eye...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this four years ago and never put it anywhere. Figured it was time to let it see the light of day. I also haven't watched Supernatural since season nine but enh I'm bored and gay and want to be kissed by boys so I dug this up. 
> 
> Oh, also, it's from both their perspectives. Switches are indicated by an asterisk.  
> *  
> Like that. Okay, have fun.

Castiel opened the front to see a girl around his age standing in his porch, holding a pie. “Uh. Hello.”

“Hi.” The girl smiled. “I’m Anna. I live down the street. We saw you moving in a few days ago and my mom said I should bring you a welcome pie. It’s uh, apple? I think?”

“Oh. Thank you,” Castiel nodded slightly. “I’m Castiel, by the way.”

Without warning, Gabe sprang up beside his younger brother with an arm around his shoulder. “Hey little bro. Who’s this?”

“I’m Anna. Hi.”

“Hi, Anna! I’m Gabe. I’m kind of like Castiel except I actually enjoy speaking.”

Castiel frowned.

“Nice to meet you.” She smirked. “Well, I have a lot of stuff to do for my mother, so I should get back home. But I’ll be back at some point. For the pie plate. See you around.”

After gently closing the front door, Gabriel turned to face his younger brother with the grin Castiel had learned to hate.

“Gabriel, no.” His eyes rolled so hard he thought he might see into his own head.

“You should.”

“ _No._ ”

“Come on, you should ask her out,” he winked, giving his brother a light punch in the shoulder.

_Here it comes._

“Seriously, I’m not letting my little brother start his junior year in high school without getting any action! You’re quirky and endearing! Girls probably love you…!”

As always, he would just keep talking as Castiel made his way to the kitchen. Gabe was hell-bent on getting Castiel a girlfriend, and would jump at any breathing and mildly attractive opportunity. Maybe because he hadn’t been very successful when he himself was in high school, maybe because he thought it was fun, either way, it got on Castiel’s nerves. His usual tactic was to ignore his brother all the way up to his room, then close the door before Gabriel could follow him in.

        _I just wish he’d lay off._

* * *

 

“Castiel?”

He turned to find which face out of the dozens around him had called his name, then saw the flash of red to his right.

“Oh, Anna! Hi!” Relieved to see someone he actually knew, he almost felt like hugging her.

“Hey! Sorry I couldn't catch you before first and second hour. How’s your first day been?”

“Mediocre, I guess. Haven’t been shoved into a locker yet.”

Anna cracked a smile. “Who’d shove you into a locker? You’re like six feet tall.”

“Come on, I’m only five-nine. But, anyway, how are you?”

“I’m good, my classes suck a little less this year. How about yours? Can I see your schedule?”

Castiel pulled the sheet from his pocket and unfolded it for her to examine. “Sweet, you’ve got A lunch with me. I can introduce you to some of my friends…whoa, you're in senior-level English?”

“Yeah, I’m good at writing, I guess.”

“I hope so, I hear that class is hard. Hey, I’ve got Art and Design with you! And acting, but that’s next quarter. That’s cool.”

Some teacher emerged from a nearby classroom and started hurrying students along to their next hours. “So I’ll see you fourth hour?”

“Yep, and don't forget to find me at lunch! Bye!” Anna waved and disappeared into the crowd again. Castiel glanced around at the room numbers nearby. _401, 403…_ He followed the stream of noisy teenagers down the hall until he found his English class. The desks were organized into rows, which was convenient for slinking into a seat towards the back, but not to the last row, which was already full. As he sat down he listened to the group of friends talk and laugh with each other. It made him smile a little, because they sounded cheerful and friendly compared to the cold, sleepy silence of most of the kids in his first couple classes. _Maybe I’ll make some friends here._

As soon as the bell rang, his teacher was already writing his name on the chalkboard up front. “All right, welcome to English Twelve. I’m Mr. Pellegrino. We aren’t going to play name games in this class, because you are almost legal adults and name games are tedious. Instead, we’ll start with attendance. If I mess up your name, it means I don’t care.” He looked up from his list as if waiting for a response. “I’m kidding. If I mess up your name, correct me.”

Castiel absently looked around the room. There were the expected posters of Shakespeare and Edgar Allan Poe, little signs with phrases like _no whining_ and that one every teacher seemed to have about how the jeans you wear in high school won’t affect your future or whatever.

“Charlene?”

“Charlie, please.”

“Cass...Cas-teel?”

He raised his hand hesitantly. “Ah, it’s Cas-tee-el,” he pronounced.

“Ah. You're probably going to have to remind me of that. Don’t be offended. Gordon?”

“Here.”

“Benjamin?”

“Benny. Here.”

“Madison?”

“Here.”

Castiel liked small classes. It was easier to get to know people, and presentations weren’t nearly as painful. This class was only twenty-four, unlike his science class of thirty-three, _and_ they were seniors. He’d always been better at relating to older kids, being the youngest of four.

“And…Dean?”

*

“Here,” Dean said, without looking up from his notebook where he and Charlie were playing a rousing game of hangman.

“…Excellent, one day down and no one’s skipped my class yet. Let’s keep it that way,” Mr. Pellegrino went on. He said something about the “first writing assignment of the year” and started passing around a stack of papers.

“W?” Dean guessed. “N? C?”

“Slow down. And I already told you, it’s not ‘Winchester.’ It’s not even the right number of letters,” Charlie whispered. “Oh, speaking of your love life–”

“I wasn’t aware we were speaking of my love life.”

“We are now! How’s that one girl who was giving you _the eyes_ at the Siren last week?”

Dean recalled getting scolded by his manager for flirting with a customer during working hours and smirked. “She’s good. We saw a movie and I drove her home. Uh…S?”

“Lucky guess. So, did you… _drive her home_?” Charlie asked with a wink.

“God, you’re like the nosy little sister I never wanted. Actually no, I didn’t, but there may have been passenger-seat-make-outs.”

On his other side, Benny chuckled. “Hey, Dean. Pay attention.”

He looked back up and saw that the nervous-looking boy in the row in front of him had been trying to hand him the stack of assignments. “Oh. Thanks.”

After an uneventful period of writing about _who he was as a writer_ , Dean gratefully stuffed his notebook back in his bag and headed down to the lunchroom with Benny and Gordon. It took only moments to locate their usual table, the one he and his motley assortment of friends made sure to grab every year. He nodded to Adam and a few of Adam’s fellow junior friends Dean didn't know very well and took his place at the table next to Jo.

*

The lunchroom was crowded and noisy and Castiel wondered what to do. It seemed like everywhere he looked, groups of friends were already nailing down tables as their own and there was no empty table at which he could park himself and wait for Anna to find him. A few tables ahead of him, he saw some seniors he recognized from his last class. Maybe he could quietly take a seat at the less populated end of their table. Maybe they wouldn’t notice.

One of the larger boys threw an orange at his friend. Castiel kept walking.

Once he did find Anna, she jumped up to greet him. “Castiel! Come meet my friends!” She grabbed his wrist, dragging him to the table. “This is Garth, and that’s Krissy, who is a freshman, but we like her, and Kevin, Meg, Chuck, and Chuck’s girlfriend, Becky. Castiel’s new, he just moved in near me.” He waved at the group. This was nice. Castiel’s old high school had been much more cliquey than this one seemed to be. He’d always sat with kids he knew from his AP classes and often had to witness heated debates over things like TI-84s and various congressional issues. He’d always just kind of watched, or read his books. Now he had slightly less…okay, fine, _nerdy_ companions to talk to.

Well, Chuck and Becky were arguing over whether DC or Marvel comics were better, but at least this was a conversation he could take part in.

“Marvel, obviously,” Castiel added once Becky finished a fast-paced and long-winded thought.

The rest of the day went by smoothly, and Castiel felt a bit more at home knowing he had friends here. When his father picked him up after school, he felt like he actually had positive news to tell him. Of course, his dad only wanted to ask how his advanced class was and did he think he would be challenged enough in regular math?

That night, he called Gabriel because he promised he would. The worst he got was a question about cute girls in any of his classes, which he completely ignored. Aside from that, Gabe was just being a generally nice and supportive older brother, and Castiel was grateful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was 17 when I wrote this, and haven't edited it since then. Just saying. *shrug*


	2. Chapter 2

It was a few weeks into school when it happened. Castiel was sitting at lunch, listening to Krissy talk about her freshman problems.

“No, for real, guys. Who do I go with?”

Meg rolled her eyes. “Seriously, just go with the hot one.”

“Meg. You don’t understand. They’re  _both_ hot.”

“So flip a coin! It’s just homecoming, it’s not that important.”

“It is  _very_  important. It’s in  _a week and a half._ ”

Meg turned to Castiel. “Hey, Clarence, who are you going to homecoming with?”

“Meg, my name is Castiel. And um, I wasn’t really planning on going. Homecoming is kind of…I don’t know, not that fun? No offense, Krissy.”

The bell signaling the end of lunch rang and he started toward the other end of the lunchroom with Anna. Meg wasted no time catching up to them.

“Really? You’re not going to homecoming?” Meg asked, frowning.

“Well, I don’t really have anyone to go with, and even if I did, I don’t really see the point.” They’d reached Castiel’s art classroom, but Meg wasn’t letting him in. She took a breath and then looked him right in the eye.

“Would you see the point in going out with me on Friday?”

_Oh. Oh, no._  This was a situation Castiel never had to deal with before. This girl was asking him out. This girl wearing a leather jacket and red lipstick was asking him out. He took a split second to consider the offer. Meg was decent, he supposed, and she was probably a good compliment to his shy personality. Saying no would be the easy way out, and would make things simpler, but maybe it was time Castiel stepped outside the realm of things that were simple.

“Uh, yeah. Yes. I would.”

She smiled triumphantly. “Sounds good, Clarence. I’ll talk to you later.”

Castiel retreated into the art room and nearly tripped over Anna’s bag on his way to his seat.

“Anna? I think I’m going out with Meg.”

*

Dean’s first couple weeks of school were going pretty well. No one had given him a reason to get in a fight, so he and the administration were on good terms, his classes were manageable and with people he liked. He was eating lunch halfway through the second week of school when things started getting just a little more complicated. Just as Dean went to pull a foil-wrapped cheese burger out of his bag, he felt a delicate hand dance across his shoulder. “Hey, Dean,” the owner of the hand cooed.

Dean shivered. It was Carmen. When they’d gone out together, Dean hadn’t planned on her going to his school, but he figured it would probably be all right anyway. Just now, she seemed to be tagging along with Jo’s friend Meg, who had stopped by the table to ask Jo something that appeared to be important.

“Well hi, Carmen.”

Her long, dark hair brushed over his arm as she leaned over to talk to him. “I had fun at the movie.”

“Really? Me too,” Dean grinned, using his charm as much as she was using hers. 

Carmen flashed him a smile. “You wanna do something this weekend?”

“How ‘bout Friday night?” Dean could use a casual night out – or, he hoped, in. He could just get Sam to go over to a friend’s house for the night and–

“Perfect. Meg’s going to Kripke’s with some guy and asked if I wanted to come and bring you, so…”

He’d never really been one for dinner dates, because those involved the hazardous chance of having to get to know the girl, which always led to  _bonding_ , and sometimes even  _meeting parents_  or being called her  _boyfriend._  None of which were Dean’s cup of tea. But there she went, giving him  _the eyes_  again and he just couldn’t turn those down.

“Awesome. I’ll pick you up at…six?” 

So that was how Dean ended up there, in a booth at this soup and sandwich bistro with a hot girl he’d rather be kissing than making small talk with.

“…And then Meg just  _did_ , like flat-out, and I was like, ‘Meg, oh my god, you can’t just  _do_ that.’ Right? Like isn’t that weird?”

“Oh, yeah. Totally weird. You’re so right,” Dean said, trying to sound like he was listening.  _I could not possibly be less interested in what you are saying. Sorry, Carmen._ “Oh, there they are.”

Dean slid out of the seat as Meg strode over arm-in-arm with this dark-haired boy Dean was pretty sure he recognized. “Hey, I’m Dean. You’re…?”

“Castiel. Hi,” he said with a small smile.

“Castiel! Right, we have English together. I should have remembered, sorry.”

“’s okay. …Should we sit?”

The four scooted into their booth and started looking through their menus. Dean decided on the first bacon-based sandwich he saw and folded his menu up after only a minute. Everyone else was taking their time perusing their menus, so it didn’t take long for his attention to stray to watching Castiel. His hair was long enough that it almost reminded him of Sam’s, only scruffier. And he was wearing a baby blue button-down, rolled up to the elbows, as if to say  _I’ve got class, but I’m super casual about it._  Dean glanced down at his own black t-shirt and jeans, suddenly wondering why he hadn’t dressed a little bit nicer.

“Dean?”

Carmen nudged his arm and he looked up to see the waitress was looking at him and tapping her pen on her little notepad. “Yeah. Yes, I’ll have a Coke and the double bacon club, side of fries. Thanks.”

Having two extra people to make small talk with was a touch better than just talking to Carmen, but Dean still wasn’t especially thrilled about it. Meg and Carmen led the conversation, mostly. For one, Castiel seemed shy, but Dean’s main issue was that his world consisted of few things, the main ones being work, school, his brother, and his car. And occasionally hooking up. Those weren’t exactly topics his date would care about (aside from the last one, maybe). Even if he had something to say, it was hard to get a word in edgewise. So he let the girls carry on.

They chattered about whatever band was coming to town next, who was taking who to homecoming, how Meg got grounded for setting something on fire. Every so often, they’d ask Dean or Castiel a question, then sweep right back into their fast-paced exchange. A little while later, the girls abruptly stood up and headed off toward the ladies’ room.

*

Castiel turned from watching them go to face Dean with wide eyes. “Do they always talk that much?”

“I…don’t know. I don’t typically go on dinner dates.”

“Yeah, neither do I. Or any dates, really. Let alone dates with Meg,” he added hastily, as if she might hear.

“I take it she asked you. How’d that happen, anyway?”

“Oh. Um, it was…unexpected. We were just talking and she just…asked me out. To be honest, I kind of just panicked and said yes.” This was embarrassing. Dean was this vaguely broody, cool guy with a little shadow of stubble that made him look too old for seventeen. He’d probably had loads of girlfriends. Castiel was sure he was judging him.

The corner of Dean’s lip twitched up into a warm smile. “Well, don’t feel bad. That girl could strike fear into anyone’s heart.” He leaned onto the table with one elbow and picked at his food. “Hey, you want my fries?”

_Okay, this guy might be all right._  “Sure,” he grinned. He was about to jokingly offer Dean the remnants of his coleslaw when Meg and Carmen came back.

“Hey, Clarence. Sorry to keep you waiting.”

Castiel caught Dean mouthing ‘ _Clarence?’_  and gave him a tiny shrug.

“Not a problem,” Castiel replied, still looking at Dean.

“What do girls even do when they go to the bathroom together? I have never once seen a girl go to the bathroom alone.”

“Isn’t it obvious, Deano?” Meg drawled. “We talk about our  _dates._ ”

Carmen giggled. “Meg! They aren’t supposed to  _know!_ ”

“Oops. I guess the cat’s out of the bag now.”

On their way out of Kripke’s, Dean fell into step with Castiel and lowered his voice. “Hey, Cas. You know what I think?”

“What’s that?”

“You gotta come hang out with me and my friends sometime. Do a little male bonding. Sound good?”

There was something about the way Dean’s shoulder bumped against his that made him start smiling again. “Yeah,” Cas said. “Definitely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rereading this, it gets much better as it goes on...


	3. Chapter 3

Dean loved his job. Working at The Siren, he got to listen to great music, recommend great music, and help people create great music by fixing and selling guitars. And his manager, Nick, was pretty cool.

It was never very busy, being a music shop with no lunch rush or anything, but it had been an especially quiet Saturday afternoon. A customer had left them a guitar to restring a few hours prior, so Dean worked on that while Adam started alphabetizing the vinyl section. Dean had a habit of singing to himself when he worked, and got lost in the music playing from the store’s speakers.

“ _Oh, when I look at you, I’ve got a second chance…really need to have you now…”_ Dean murmured as he started unwinding the first string from the tuning post. Adam passed by, shaking his head and laughing when Dean sang “ _It always breaks me down!_ ”

“You got a girl, Dean? Or just the song in your heart?” he asked, ducking into the storage room behind the counter.

“What, do you not enjoy my  _velvety smooth_  voice?  _The quiet…cuts me through…_ ”

The bell by the door chimed. Dean abruptly stopped singing and looked up from his work to see if it would be customers, or Nick coming back from his lunch.

Customers, indeed. In walked Castiel, of all people, flanked by a scrappy-looking, gangly guy and a girl with hair almost as red as Charlie’s. When Dean glanced over, he swore he saw Cas’ eyes light up.

“Oh, hey, Dean! I didn’t know you worked here!”

_Oh when I look at you, I’ve got a second chance, really need to take it now…_

Dean leaned against the counter. “Well, hey Cas! What brings you to my shop?”

“Anna,” Castiel gestured to the red-haired girl, who was now talking with Adam in the vinyl section. “She and Garth and I were downtown and she wanted to stop by. What are you working on?”

“Restringing. Well, at this point, it’s more like unstringing,” he explained, pulling the string from the bridge of the neck and setting it aside.

“It looks…complicated.” Castiel eyed the various components and tools scattered across the workspace.

“It’s actually easier than it looks. You just have to be careful and make sure everything’s the right tension. Then you won’t break anything important. It just takes a little time because you gotta do it six times.”

He gazed up at the wall across from the repair counter where a few dozen guitars were displayed, hanging on hooks. “So, you must play, right? I mean, since you work at a guitar shop.”

“Yeah, a little. I’ve got an acoustic.”

Garth poked his head up over a shelf of CDs. “Hey, do you guys have a hip hop section?”

Dean quickly remembered that he was an employee here, and wandered over. “Uh, well, we’ve mostly got rock and stuff, but there might be some on the third shelf down over there.”

*

The Siren was the offbeat music shop Castiel never knew he wanted in his life. The sparkling electric guitars and beautiful acoustics made him wish he could play. There was a ceiling-high stack of amplifiers and speakers in the middle of the store and albums by bands he wouldn’t tell Dean he hadn’t heard of. Even records!  _Do people still listen to records? I wonder if my mom has a record player somewhere in the attic…_

Castiel explored the CD shelves for something that sounded good.  _Although, if you can’t judge a book by its cover, I guess you can’t judge an album, either._ He picked one at random and flipped it over to read the song titles.

“Can I help you find anything? I kind of have to ask,” Dean asked, leaning against a shelf to Castiel’s right.

“I need more bands to listen to. Who would you recommend?”  _Wow, I hope I don’t sound as boring as I think I do._

Dean took the CD from Cas’ hand. “This one’s pretty good, actually. The Rubens are a just a couple of years old but they’ve got some decent songs.”

“Okay, then I’ll get this.”

“Awesome, I can ring you up.” Dean slid behind the counter and grabbed the barcode scanner, but then set it down after Castiel pulled out his wallet.

Cas squinted in confusion. “What?”

“You know what, this one’s on me.”

“What? No, Dean, I should pay for this. With money. Because I am a customer.”

Dean waved his hand dismissively. “It’s only like, nine dollars. And it’s for a good cause! Musical enlightenment. You discovering new artists.”

“But Dean, isn’t that against–”

“Cas. Just take the CD.”

Dean was staring at him.  _He probably thinks I’m boring. I should just take it._

“Okay.”

“Hey guys?” Garth waved, as if to get their attention. “Anna? Were we going to go have lunch, or – oh.”

Once Cas turned around he saw the reason for the discomfort in Garth’s voice. At the other end of the shop, Adam and Anna were locked into a kiss that none of the other three dared interrupt.

“Oh,” Castiel echoed.

“Gross,” Dean added.

The two pulled apart and Anna turned a shade of red that almost matched her hair. “Sorry, what?”

As Castiel left the Siren with Garth and Anna, he was sure he heard Dean laughing something about Adam finally finding his Eve.


	4. Chapter 4

Driving to Carmen’s house, Dean was feeling less than awesome. He was on his way to pick up a girl and take her to a little party with his friends, so logically, he should be feeling great. Maybe it was just an off day.

He didn’t even have time to walk to her front door before she trotted over to his car and hopped in.

“Hey, Carmen.” Dean tried to sound friendly.

“Hey.” She didn’t look at him.

 _There it is._  He knew something was wrong.

“How’re you?” he asked, starting to back out of the driveway.

“Dean, you didn’t ask me to homecoming.” Her voice was venom. “It’s  _tomorrow_.”

“Oh. Um. I don’t, uh, I don’t typically go to homecoming.”

“That was not an answer.”

“But you didn’t ask–”

“Ugh, don’t say it. Whatever. I’ll just go with my friends.”

Dean focused hard on the street signs, if only to distract himself from the huffy girl in his passenger seat.  _I guess I could try apologizing…_  “I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was that important to you.”

She turned to shoot him a glare. “You  _should_  have known.”

For the next few uncomfortably silent minutes, Dean pondered how he had gotten himself this far into a relationship. Usually it would be a date, or a hook up, and not much more. All he’d done with Carmen was a movie, a make out, a dinner, and some scattered flirting. And now he was expected to ask her to homecoming? Isn’t homecoming just like a watered-down prom?

“What are we, Dean?” she finally sighed, almost exasperated.

A blaring warning signal was set off in Dean’s mind.  _Retreat, retreat, retreat! She’s already started to act like I’m her boyfriend._  He shuddered and pressed himself further back into his seat.  _Dean Winchester is nobody’s boyfriend. No, thank you._ He only had to hold out for another minute, at most.  _Almost there_.

“We are…” he made an attempt at not sounding completely sarcastic. He’d made that mistake before and gotten slapped. “…two high schoolers who went on a couple of dates.”

Carmen just sighed again. Dean was beginning to grow less fond of her sigh.

They didn’t speak even after Dean pulled up at Jo’s house.

*

Earlier that week, Castiel and Meg had been sitting with Dean and his friends at lunch when someone brought up the topic of movie night. Everyone sounded pretty enthusiastic, so Jo had offered to host it. To his surprise, she’d also invited him to come along.

“Castiel, you should come too! It’ll be fun!” she’d said. Of course, he never doubted it would be fun. The closest Cas had come to parties were Star Trek marathons with his past friends. Those were fun, but not the same kind of fun as a this. Maybe it wouldn’t be a wild house party, but he’d be hanging out with, honestly, the coolest people he knew.

Once he convinced his parents that he’d be back before midnight and that none of his new friends were drug dealers, he headed over to Jo’s place. At the moment, he and Meg were seated on Jo’s couch, chatting with her and Ash, who lived nearby. Castiel learned that Ash would often just wander into Jo’s house, and over the years, the two just became friends. In the other corner of the room, the lumberjack-looking guy named Benny was playing pool with Adam. There was a general air of warmth, and Castiel felt so  _accepted._

It didn’t take long for Dean to arrive, with Carmen on his tail. He nodded to the smattering of greetings from around the room and grabbed a bottle of soda from the coffee table. “Hey Cas, Meg. What’s up? How are you guys?”

“Clarence and I just heard the story of Jo and Ash’s weird childhood friendship,” Meg replied before leaving the couch to go talk to Carmen. Dean took advantage of the empty space and sat himself down next to Cas.

“I’m good, thanks. You?”

“Well, Cas, since you asked,” Dean glanced around the room, then lowered his voice, “Carmen is kind of pissed right now. So if you were planning on talking to her at all tonight, maybe you shouldn’t.”

“Um, okay. Why is she mad?” Cas asked, tilting his head to one side.

“I’m not sure, but I think it’s my fault. Girls, man.” He cracked open the soda and took a swig.

“What about girls?”

Castiel recognized the girl who had just taken the space left next to Dean on the couch as one of the seniors in his English class.  _Charlotte? No, that’s not it…_

“Oh, Charlie! Hey!” Dean said, ignoring her question.

A few minutes later, Jo appeared at the stairs with a phone in her hand. “All right, pizza’s coming,” she announced. “And I brought down the speakers. Who wants to DJ?”

“Ooh,” Adam volunteered, raising his hand.

“Ah,” Dean interjected, holding up one finger to stop him and pulled out his phone. “ _Only_  if you use my music.”

“Fine. You probably have something embarrassing I can play.” Adam snatched the phone from Dean’s hand and dashed over to where Jo had set up the speakers. “Aw, no Britney? Dean, I am shocked and dismayed.”

“You would be. Hey, Benny? You done with your game?”

“Sure am, bro.”

Dean turned to him. “Cas, you wanna play?”

He felt his eyebrows raise a little. “Oh, uh…”  _I am the most uncool person ever._ “I don’t actually know how to play pool…”

Dean’s face didn’t look disappointed, as Cas expected it to be. Instead he adopted a sort of soft smile and gave Cas a pat on the shoulder. “No problem. I’ll show you.”

“It’s real easy. You put the white ball somewhere down there, and this triangle goes on the circle here, and you shoot,” Dean explained, pointing to each end of the table. “If you get a striped ball in first, you’ll aim for stripes the rest of the game. And if you get in a solid?”

“I’ll be solids the solids the rest of the game,” Castiel finished. “Okay. And I can’t hit the eight ball in until the end, right?”

“Right. And there’s a bunch of ways to shoot, so just figure out what works best for you. I do it like…” Dean leaned over the table and rested the end of the cue between his fingers before stepping back to let Cas try. “Ready to start?”

Watching Castiel was never boring, and watching him in situations that were new to him was quickly becoming one of Dean’s favorite things about his new friend. His big blue eyes were so wide with interest, his mouth open just slightly with concentration. Cas arranged his cue and his hands into the position Dean showed him and shot.

It was a messy break, which was expected, but Dean gave him a nod and a thumbs-up anyway. He tried not to get too many balls when he took his turn, but ended up smoothly knocking in three solids in two turns.

“Ooh, and they’re neck-and-neck!” Meg narrated with her usual wash of sarcasm. She’d apparently sauntered over to the table to watch the game when Dean wasn’t paying attention. Castiel frowned at her.

“I’ve only had one turn so far,” Castiel muttered defensively. He shot for a stripe at the far end of the table and came just shy of the pocket.

“Aw, Clarence, I’m just  _kidding_. You’re doing great.”

“Yeah. Thanks, Meg. And Dean, if you start letting me win…” Cas began.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Dean assured him.

Dean was readying himself to take his next shot when he felt Charlie stick her face right next to his. “No wonder Carmen’s a little steamed at you,” she whispered in Dean’s ear before flouncing away.

It took him a single confused second, then he whipped around with a “Wait, what?” but she’d somehow already engaged herself in a conversation with Jo. When he turned back to the game, Meg and Cas were giving him questioning looks. Well, Cas was. Meg looked disinterested in most things around her, other than Castiel, who now had his arm draped casually over her shoulder.

“It  _is_  your turn, Dean,” Cas reminded him.

“Right, yeah,” he muttered, and got back to aiming for solids.

*

Dean won, which was okay. Castiel just enjoyed playing. The pizza had arrived, so the group all sat on and around the couch to distribute plates of greasy, cheesy goodness then dig in. After a few minutes, someone asked who was going to homecoming. Adam smiled down into his drink and admitted he was going with Anna, soliciting a round of ‘ _aw’_ s from the group. Meg suddenly perked up.

“Oh yeah, Clarence, you want to homecoming with me? I mean, I know it’s tomorrow, but I’d like to go with you.”

“Um, okay! But…I don’t really have anything to wear.”

“That’s okay. Deano will help you pick something out,” Meg decided.

“Whoa there, I didn’t say I was going–” Dean protested, holding up a hand.

Jo, who was sat next to him, giggled. “Hey Dean! go to homecoming with me!”

He tipped his head back, closed his eyes and groaned. Then he snapped forward with sudden realization. “Hold up, did Carmen leave?”

“Yeah, like half an hour ago. She said she had to be somewhere. Why?” Jo asked.

“Well, she was sorta unhappy about me not asking her to homecoming and if I go and she sees me there…”

“Then we’ll hide you under our dresses, I don’t know! Come on, Dean. You’ll have fun, I promise.”

Castiel really hoped Dean would go, because he had never been to a dance before and wasn’t sure how they worked, especially when there would be a Meg involved. He needed backup.

“ _Fine,_ ” Dean sighed.

After a quick vote, the group picked Captain America, and Jo started the movie. Castiel was absolutely glowing. This  _was_  fun. He learned to play pool, got asked to homecoming, and now he had a girl curled up next to him with her head on his shoulder.  _And it’s only my first month here. I can’t wait to tell Gabriel._

*

Across the room, Dean was almost back in the mood he’d been in before he arrived at the party. He didn’t particularly want to go to homecoming, especially when chances were good he was most certainly  _not_  going to have fun.

 _And since_ when _were Meg and Cas so cuddly?_


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It gets good in this chapter, I promise. :)

After waking up at one in the afternoon, having an indulgent lunch of leftover pizza, and donning his suit and tie, Dean started on his way to Castiel’s house. It was a little hard to find, being far enough away from town to be in one of those neighborhoods where the houses are further apart and surrounded by trees.

A woman with familiar blue eyes and brown hair tied back in a neat bun opened the door when he knocked. “Hello, Dean?” she said with a sweet smile.

“Yes, hi. Nice to meet you,” Dean said, reaching out to shake her hand and flashing his best charming smile.

“Same to you. And please, call me Naomi.”

“Thanks, Naomi. Is Castiel…?”

“Upstairs, dear. His door should be open.”

“Awesome, thank you!” Dean bounded up the stairs two at a time. Down the hall a ways only one door was open, but before Dean could reach it, Cas, looking incredibly anxious, poked his head out.

“Hey, Cas. Nice house you got here.”

“Hey. Thank you. My room is really messy, I apologize. But please come in.”

Castiel’s room was by no means messy. It wasn’t pristinely neat, either. It was this happy medium of organized clutter, and Dean felt more at home than he should have, it being his first time here. Cas had a desk in one corner, covered in textbooks and assignments, and a shelf across the room almost overflowing with books. His closet was open and he had shirts and ties spread across his bed.

“All right, Cas, what are we working with?”

He shuffled, in his black t-shirt and dress pants, to where he’d laid out four shirts and several ties. Dean sat on the edge of the bed.

“Um, okay, I have this white shirt, a grey one, a dark blue one and one that’s black with pinstripes. And my ties are here,” Cas explained. He tilted his head in concentration.

Dean took a quick inventory of their options. “How about…we start with the white?”

“Do you mind if I change in here? It’s just faster than going all the way to my bathroom or something.”

“’s fine,” Dean murmured. It occurred to him that Cas could’ve just had him step out, but whatever. It was fine with him. He didn’t blush when Cas pulled that t-shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor. He  _didn’t._

They tried a few combinations: white shirt with blue tie and black jacket – “Cas, you look like a CEO”; white shirt with black tie – “Now you’re too  _Blues Brothers_ ”; but they eventually settled on the dark grey shirt with a red tie and a black vest.

“Oh, Cas. That works. Like, let’s go with that,” Dean approved.

“You think so? I don’t look too much like…some other thing?”

“Nope. You look like Cas. Now tie your tie, we should get going.”

Castiel hesitated. He frowned into the mirror at the tie, draped over his shoulder. “Can you? I actually don’t know how,” he admitted slowly.

“Wait, really?”

“My brother Gabriel always did it for me, okay?”

Holding back a laugh, Dean got up from the bed to stand behind Cas. “Um, all right. But I can’t do it…front-ways.” He brought his arms up so he could get his hands in front of Cas and rested his chin on Cas’ shoulder to see himself in the mirror. He didn’t let himself stop to enjoy how warm…and  _good_  Cas smelled. He  _didn’t_. “Uh, okay. This end goes over here, then you flip it around, up, and through, and pull it tight.”

Cas nodded and started buttoning up the vest. “Thank you.”

After a moment, Dean realized he still had his wrists resting on Cas’ shoulders. “Yes. Right. Let’s go.”

They were almost down the stairs and out the door when Naomi caught them. “Not so fast, there! I am not letting you get away without taking pictures!”

“ _Mom_ ,” Castiel hissed. “Can we please not–”

“Castiel Novak, you two are going to go stand in the front yard and let me record this moment of you looking decent.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Dean said.

Under the biggest oak tree in the almost setting sun, they took a few with Dean’s arm around Cas and Cas’ hand on Dean’s waist. Dean didn’t think about the way holding Castiel close made his whole chest feel full of something big and warm and wanted. He did  _not._

But that feeling stuck with him anyway. 

Once they’d shaken off Cas’ mother and Dean assured her he’d have Cas home before midnight, the boys drove to Jo’s. Maybe it was some sort of regulation Mom Thing to wait by the front door on the night of homecoming. Dean wouldn’t know. Either way, Ellen answered Dean’s knock and took a full minute complimenting him and Cas before letting them inside.

After a moment, Meg and Jo came parading down the hall. Dean recognized that specific glow girls get when all dressed up with someplace to go. Meg had her trademark red lipstick and heels to match with a short black dress. Jo went less edgy, in a longer, more flowing dark green dress.

“Hey, Clarence! You and Deano here really clean up nice,” Meg smirked.

“Back at ya,” Dean said in an equally dry tone.

“Okay, kids, stand up straight and smile pretty, I’ve got a camera and I’m not afraid to use it.”

Dean breathed a little amused sigh and went to stand behind Jo. Cas followed suit. At this, Meg rolled her eyes and grabbed his wrists so she could pull them around her waist. A few forced smiles later, Dean, Cas, and the girls hopped in the car and started for the dance.

*

It wasn’t as if Castiel was blown away by simply being at a dance. It wasn’t some foreign land he could never imagine the joys and wonders of, just a darkened cafeteria with loud music he only sort of liked. Still, there was something kind of fun about being there with a date, and his friends. He also never fully understood how bad he was at dancing to pop songs. Slow songs were fine, he discovered. All he had to do was put his hands on her waist and sort of half-heartedly step side-to-side along with her. The only difficult part was having to talk to her, because what were they supposed to talk about? There were no other girls to carry the conversation.

After a particularly long gap in their talking, Meg gazed up into Cas’ eyes.

“Clarence,” she said slowly, as if in a daze. “Have you ever danced with someone before? Like this?”

He swallowed the uncertainty. “No, not like this.”

“Well you don’t suck at it.” It was one of the few sincere-sounding things Meg had said to him.

“Uh. Thank you.” _  
_

“You know I do really like you, Clarence,” Meg said, her voice almost too quiet to hear over the music. Cas thought about responding, then closed his mouth again. “What? Was I not supposed to say that?”

“No, you’re fine…it’s something stupid.”

“That’s okay.”

“No one’s ever said that before. That they really like me.”

“Wow.” Meg considered this for a second, then slowly started to lean closer to him. When Cas started to grasp her intent, he closed his eyes and let his lips meet hers.

The kiss wasn’t quite how Castiel thought it might be, though it only lasted a couple seconds, so it was hard to tell. When Meg pulled back, her face was somewhere in the middle of admiration and triumph. Cas was sure he must have looked shocked and maybe a little embarrassed.

Meg gave him an honest smile. “Well maybe some people just need to speak up.”

*

Dean and Jo had been sitting at one of the tables on the side of the cafeteria, trying to enjoy the lemonade he’d gotten them.

“You know, Dean, we may be here as friends but you still have to dance with me,” Jo reminded him.

He let out a sigh. “Yeah, okay. Next slow song’s ours, all right?”

From their vantage point, Dean had a clear view of most of the dance floor. There was the expected crowd of sexually-starved horndogs in the middle, definitely  _not_ obeying the homecoming dance guidelines, kids who were completely jamming out and not caring if they danced badly, hopeful single guys shuffling along the edges. He could see Adam and Anna, flirtatiously falling all over each other in their attempts to dance less terribly. He saw Meg and Cas on the edges of one of those dance circles that mostly just jumped up and down in time with the song.

Eventually, a slower song did come up, and Jo took Dean’s hands in hers and pulled him along to the floor. Dean had no extensive grasp of dance, of course, so they settled with just stepping back and forth like everyone else. Everyone else including Meg and Cas, Dean noticed, peering over Jo’s shoulder.

“Dean. Who are you looking at?” Jo asked with genuine curiosity.

“No one specific. Just scoping out the crowd.”

“Bullshit,” Jo smiled. She smiled as if she knew something Dean didn’t, which was never an expression he liked to see. “You’re jealous. Someone behind me is dancing with someone you’re sweet on, and you’re. Jealous.”

_I’m not sweet on Cas. I’m not._

“Or maybe I’m just lookin’ around.”

Several yards away, Meg rested her head on Cas’ chest and Dean felt his throat tighten.  _I don’t_ like _Cas, he’s my friend. He’s just my friend._

Jo sighed. “Oh, Dean. So in denial. Who is it? Is she pretty?”

“You’re the worst,” Dean said with a small smile and shake of his head.  _No, Cas isn’t pretty. He isn’t beautiful or entrancing or any more attractive than anyone else and he isn’t freakin’ pretty._

“You love me.”

“Yeah,” Dean muttered, distracted. The song ended. He and Jo moved apart, and then back to their table. One of Jo’s friends scampered over and started talking to her about something Dean couldn’t bring himself to care about if he tried. Instead he just sat, resting his cheek on his palm and absently messing with the confetti.

*

Castiel was getting tired and he could tell even from across the room that Dean wanted to go home. He went to sit with him.

“Hey, Dean,” Cas grinned.

“Hey.” He had an air about him that made Cas wonder if he’d run into Carmen.

“You okay?”

Dean rubbed a hand across his eyes. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m super. Just tired. Dances aren’t really my kind of thing.”

“Yeah, me neither. It wasn’t too bad, though. You want to go get Meg and Jo soon? See if they want to leave too?”

“Sounds good. It’s almost eleven, anyway.”

The girls were just as ready to go as Dean was, so they ditched the cafeteria without haste. Dean must have been pretty exhausted, because he didn’t even turn on the radio like he normally did whenever he drove Cas somewhere. Both of them were pretty quiet, entertained enough by Meg and Jo gossiping animatedly in the backseat. After they dropped them off, giving their respective dates hugs goodbye, then climbing back into the car, the atmosphere of the Impala felt heavy with conversations that weren’t happening.

As they rolled quietly out of Jo’s neighborhood, Dean turned to him. “Cas, what’s going on? You don’t look okay. Talk to me.”

“Um. Well, Meg kissed me.”

“Oh. But…that should be good, right?”

Cas groaned. “I know. I know it should be good! And she likes me, and I told her I like her too, but then we kissed and something just didn’t…feel right.”

Dean was driving much slower than usual. It seemed he was focusing more on what Cas was saying than the road. “Well, that can happen. I mean, was she the first person you kissed?”

Castiel slid further down in the seat and glanced at his own face in the side mirror. “Yeah.”

“Maybe you just don’t have, like, any experience to compare it to.”

“Yeah. Maybe it’s just me.”

They had reached Cas’ house, so he climbed out of the car after a minute. “Night, Dean. Thanks for driving me and, you know, helping me with stuff.”

“Anytime. Goodnight, Cas.”

It was comforting that the rumble of the engine didn’t leave his driveway until after he’d gone inside. Dean was just like that.  _Always there._

He climbed the stairs to his room, but once inside, didn’t start getting ready for bed. He didn’t even take his shoes off. The thing with Meg had him on edge. It shouldn’t have been a big deal. It was simple. A girl kissed him. He felt weird about it. The solution, too, should have been as easy, but Cas couldn’t find it.

 _Teenage hormones. That’s probably it. Right? I’m just feeling things I don’t understand because I’m sixteen and life is weird._  Usually, he’d have asked Gabriel for help by now, but thanks to college and time zones, Gabriel was probably asleep, or otherwise busy. So Cas did the only other thing he could think of doing.

*

It took Dean two and a half rings to hear his phone and then fish it out of his pocket while driving.

“Cas?”

“Dean, can you, uh…just…I need you to come back. Really quick.”

“Cas, are you okay? What’s going on?” He’d already pulled his car in a neat and illegal U-turn, landing squarely in the opposite lane and going back in the direction of Cas.

“It’s okay. I’m okay. I just want…you to come back for a minute.”

 _Something must be in the air tonight._  “Yeah, of course. Hang on, I’ll be there in like, two shakes.”

The porch light was on and Castiel was already under it when Dean reached his house. “Cas.”

“Dean, this is going to sound really weird and I understand if you…don’t want to do it, but could…could you kiss me?”

… _Holy shit._

Dean cleared his throat and decided not to question it. “Um. Yeah. All right.” He placed a hand at the side of Castiel’s neck, letting his thumb brush faintly over the edge of his jaw. Cas’ eyes fell closed as Dean pulled him closer.

*

Cas let Dean drift toward him and close the space between their lips. It was so gentle, so light, that Cas tipped his head just slightly to press his lips a little more into Dean’s. He could feel the roughness of Dean’s perpetual stubble, the heat of his skin. Dean’s kiss hardly lasted any longer than Meg’s, and somehow it was better in every way.

When Dean pulled away, his hand fell slowly from Cas’ face but stayed aloft. His eyes looked bright, pupils wide, and Cas could see the pink in his cheeks, even in the dim glow of the porch light. It seemed neither of them knew what to do now. Words didn’t seem quite right, but actions would probably just go wrong.

“Thank you,” he breathed finally.

Dean swallowed and looked down. “Yeah.”

“Goodnight,” he said softly.

“Goodnight, Castiel.”

And with that, Dean turned and strode back to his car. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come! This isn’t even half the story, I’ll upload the rest shortly.


	6. Chapter 6

After Cas, Dean didn’t go home. Not quite yet. He continued on, away from town until he was several miles into the country, among fields and farmland. He’d come out here before, last fourth of July, with Sammy. They lit off huge and certainly illegal fireworks and it had been one of the best days he’d ever had.

Dean smiled at the memory as he pulled the Impala over and turned off the engine.  _Okay, so I kissed Castiel._  He ran his tongue absently over his lips and swore he could taste him there. Had it been anyone other than Cas, Dean would have assumed it was some kind of trick. Not that he could actually think of a reason for anyone to trick him into kissing someone. Then again, had it been anyone other than Cas, some other taken,  _male_ friend of his, Dean would have never done it.  _So what is so special about Castiel?_

He climbed out of his car and breathed in the cool night air. It felt like all he could do right now was breathe, so he leaned against his car and focused on his breaths while other thoughts wove their way through his head. Dean couldn’t deny that kissing Cas tore open his stitched-up heart and let everything out, but he didn’t want to go there. Maybe he even believed he couldn’t. It was so much easier not to get attached to anyone, and it was all he’d done all his life.

But he was just so…Cas. And he could tell from the slowly growing ache in his chest, it was too late to turn back. Dean couldn’t even think in terms of  _I wonder how far he’ll let me go_ because this wasn’t a one night stand in the back of his car. This wasn’t cocky flirting for the sole purpose of getting a number and never calling. This was so far outside of Dean and what Dean did, he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. Never before had he wanted to just be with someone as much as he wanted to just  _be_  with Cas. And yeah, now that he thought about it, he would love to give Cas everything he had. But for the first time in his life, he wanted it to matter.

*

It was just an impulse.

That’s what Castiel told himself as he stumbled, dazed, back inside and up to his room. He stood in front of his mirror and slid off the tie Dean had tied for him and told himself kissing him was just a weird, emotionally-charged impulse that he just kind of went with. He crawled into bed repeating over again in his head,  _it didn’t mean anything, it was just…an…impulse,_  until he fell asleep.

But once he woke up, what felt like mere minutes later, pretending it was  _only an impulse_  got a lot harder. He spent most of his Sunday trying to do homework, but getting constantly distracted by the ghost of fingertips just below his ear, the recollection of Dean’s hot breath on his lips an instant before they made contact. The music had been so loud at the dance, but on his doorstep in the middle of the night, when it had felt like he and Dean were the only people in the whole world, it was so quiet all he could hear was the thud of his heart and that little  _snk_  when Dean pulled away.

But Cas wasn’t gay. He didn’t like men. Girls were smaller and soft and feasible, and men just seemed so big and full of hard edges and intimidating. Right?

Only, Dean…wasn’t. Cas should have been repelled by the scratch of another man’s stubble, but somehow that, along with every other thing about Dean, was all Cas wanted. Dean was everything all at once.

Dean.  _Was it impulse for him, too?_  He probably just saw it as some weird Cas thing. A one-time,  _yeah-okay-whatever_  thing. Because There was no way Dean could be into Cas, right? He was like, the straightest guy he knew. Wasn’t he?

_He’s probably freaked out. He thinks I’m weird, and when I see him on Monday he probably won’t even talk to me._

He felt like the kiss was the single greatest moment of his entire life. And he was never going to tell anyone, ever. Especially not Dean.

So by the time he ran into him on their way out of third hour English on Monday, Cas knew exactly what he was going to say.

“Hey, Dean. Can I talk to you…about Saturday?”

*

“Yeah, sure.” Dean, taking Castiel with him, found a less crowded stretch hallway. He willed his knees to stop shaking and tried hard to keep his eyes off Cas’ mouth.

“I just want to make sure you know I – I don’t even know where that came from, and I’m sorry I made you…do…that. It, uh, won’t happen again.”

_Please, Cas. Please let it happen again._

“Oh, uh, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it. Heat of the moment, right?” Dean gave a quick, nervous laugh.

“Yeah, heat of the moment,” Cas mumbled, glancing down at the ground. “I just don’t want things to be weird. Things won’t be weird, right?”

Dean took a breath and slowly let it out again before saying, “Yeah. We’re cool. We don’t even have to talk about it again, if you don’t want to.”

“Promise?”

“Yeah, okay.”

They started off to lunch together, and Dean tried to block out the pain he felt in his chest.  _Not talking about it again. We’ll see._

Later the same day, Dean was at work, testing and tuning the new guitars, a good way to take his mind off of…whatever his mind was on. Before long, Charlie stopped by to check out speakers. By that time, Dean had started playing through a few songs he’d been meaning to learn on one of his favorite acoustics in the back of the shop. So, of course, Charlie came around to listen.

“Hey, Dean. What’re you playing? Wait, no, let me guess. Keep going.”

He shrugged, and resumed strumming. “ _I do believe it’s true that there are roads left in both of our shoes and if the silence takes you–”_

“Oh! Soul Meets Body. I didn’t know you liked indie rock, Dean.”

“– _then I hope it takes me, too_.” He paused. “Well, Sam plays it whenever I’m not blasting my stuff, and this song sounded pretty good.  _So blue eyes, I’ll hold you near–_ ”

“Blue eyes?” Charlie asked.

Dean stopped singing and looked up. “Hm?”

“I thought that line was ‘brown eyes,’ not blue.”

“Well…” He repositioned the guitar on his lap and shrugged again. “I like it better with ‘blue eyes.’  _Blue eyes, I’ll hold you near, ‘cause you’re the only song I want to hear, a melody softly soaring through my atmosphere…_ ”

“Yeah. Okay,” Charlie left him in his corner, with a sly smile and narrowed eyes.      

* * *

 

Dean realized he had made a mistake the next afternoon as he was walking to his car after school. He was moments away from reaching the door when she pounced.

“ _I KNEW IT_!” she cried, nearly knocking him to the ground.

“Gah! Charlie, dammit, you made me drop my keys!” Dean grumbled. “What…what did you know?”

“ _You are so in love with Castiel_!” Charlie whispered accusingly, slapping Dean on the arm before continuing at her typical rapid pace. “I was only kidding when I said that thing about Carmen being mad at you but then there was the blue eyes thing, and so I checked today, and who has big blue eyes that you want to hold near?  _Castiel Novak is who_! Like, holy crap! You are totally hot for him!”

“Look, I have to go pick Sam up from school–” Dean said, slipping into the driver’s seat before Charlie could stop him. She sighed and hopped into the backseat right behind Dean.

“Say you’re in love with him.”

Dean clicked on the radio in effort to ignore her. It was, as always, on the local classic rock station, and The Who’s  _Behind Blue Eyes_  drifted out of the car’s speakers. Dean hit the power button again, a tad more forcefully than he meant to.

“ _Dean_.”

“Charlie, are you just going to chill back there, or…”

She leaned forward. “Is this about him being a guy? Is that why you’re being weird about it? Because I thought we already established your bisexuality with the whole  _Dr. Sexy, M.D._  incident. I mean, I know you haven’t had like, boy-crushes, or if you have, you haven’t talked about them to me, but this is Cas, so…”

To be fair, Dr. Sexy M.D. was…eye-opening. Although she was right about not having crushes _._  This was entirely new territory for Dean, and really, that was probably the only reason why he was, as she said, being weird about it. “Charlie–”

“Say it. I won’t leave this car until you say it.”

After sighing, readjusting his mirrors, scratching the back of his neck, then sighing again, he finally mumbled something that could have included something close to  _Cas._

“Sorry, what was that?”

“ _I like Cas,_ ” Dean growled, barely louder than before.

“I  _knew_  it!”

“Yeah. I know. I got that. But if you tell anyone, I swear to god, if you even  _hint_  at it to Cas,” he began.

“I know, I know. You’ll kick my ass,” Charlie finished, grinning as she climbed back out of the Impala.

_Girls._ Dean shook his head and rolled on out of the parking lot.  _What are we, twelve?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooh we're getting deep.  
> As I reread this, I'm laughing because is Dean this introspective?? Probably not. This is more how I process things, lol.


	7. Chapter 7

On Friday afternoon, Castiel’s father had some kind of prior engagement that prevented him from being free to drive Cas home, so he hitched a ride with Dean. And because “why the hell not,” they decided to just go back to Dean’s house after picking Sam up from school instead of taking Cas to his place.

Once Sam hopped into the back of the car, Dean eagerly introduced them. “Hey Sam! This is Castiel. Cas, Sam.”

“Hi, Castiel! That’s a cool name.”

“Thanks. Nice to meet you,” Cas grinned. “How was school?”

“It was okay.”

Dean frowned at his brother in the mirror as he started backing out of the parking space. “Come on, Sammy, that’s not what an okay day sounds like. Any assholes I need to beat up?”

The younger brother rolled his eyes, but smiled. “Dean, no. But there’s…this one cute girl. I always see her in the library and I want to talk to her, but I don’t really know how.”

“Lucky for you, your brother is an expert,” Cas said.

“He’s right. Let me walk you through the steps,” Dean began.

All the way to their house, he explained the whole process, from casually striking up conversation to getting her number, and beyond. Sam was laughing and demanding for Dean to  _stop, please_  when he got into the details of getting her to go home with him. Saved only by arriving at their house, Sam dashed from the car and ran inside before Dean could continue. Cas watched the two interact and smiled, reminded fondly of his own older brother. Gabriel, that is.  _Michael and Lou were nothing like that._

Dean opened the front door for him and led Castiel to his room. Castiel had never really taken time to imagine what Dean’s bedroom would look like, because that would be _weird_ , but even so, this was exactly it. The walls were dark grey, adorned with posters of bands, and in the corner, a few sci-fi movies. At the foot of his bed, which was neatly made up with fluffy-looking pillows and a blue duvet, was a simple wooden chair, and beside that, Dean’s guitar. He tossed his bag into the corner and kicked off his boots and went to his desk to start rooting through a box of CDs.

“Now, Cas. I said I’d show you some quality music,” he said, handing him a stack. “So take these with you when you go and give ‘em a listen, and when you bring them back, let me know what you think.”

He shuffled the CDs around, looking to see what Dean had given him.  _Led Zeppelin, ACDC, Aerosmith…okay, this will be fun._  Dean clicked on the radio and sat down on the floor, leaning against his bed.

“So, uh, how’s Carmen? Because I saw you with her today…” Cas started, joining Dean on the floor.

*

 _Yeah, Carmen._  She’d stopped him in the hall that afternoon and apologized for something Dean was too distracted to remember. She mentioned some party her friend was throwing that night and  _it sounds like fun, do you want to come_? But Dean just wasn’t feeling parties with Carmen at the time, nor would he ever, so he kindly declined and told her he’d promised to hang out with Cas tonight.

“Oh, yeah. Um, she invited me a party but it was tonight and I didn’t really feel like going. So. I dunno, I’m not that into her. And it was kinda getting into girlfriend territory and I don’t really… _do_ …that,” Dean grudgingly explained.  _I could not possibly be less interested in her, Cas. Really._  “Uh, anyway, how’re you and Meg? Everything good with you two?”

He watched Cas hesitate and felt a small flutter in his chest.

“We’re…all right. She hasn’t kissed me since…” he trailed off, deliberately turning away from Dean and looking at the ground before continuing, softer this time. “…since homecoming. But, um, I’m going to a movie with her tomorrow.”

Dean nodded and vacantly watched the wall in front of them. It was so obvious Castiel wasn’t really into her. If only  _he_  noticed.

After a somewhat uncomfortable break in conversation, Dean got up and grabbed his guitar, muttering something about how it needed tuning. He just needed something to do.

“I’ve always wanted to learn guitar, you know.”

“Really? I can show you some chords, if you want,” Dean brightened at the change of subject. “Come on over.”

Castiel took the guitar from Dean and handled it with the same amount of care with which one would hold a newborn baby. With Cas in the chair and Dean sat at the end of his bed, he handed him a pick.

“Okay, there’s a chord progression that’s in dozens of songs, and I think it’s called the four chord axis. Once you know it, you’ll start hearing it in like, every popular song ever. One way of playing it is with C, so I’ll show you those first. Also, the C chord is in everything, so you need to know that.” He mimicked the position with his left hand, explaining which strings to use.

“Like this?”

“Yeah, that’s good. Except you’ll wanna move your thumb, otherwise that first string won’t sound right.” Dean moved his hand forward and curled it around the back of Cas’, adjusting it for the best sound. He both hated and loved the tingle in his palm as it pressed against Cas’ knuckles, and left it there just a second too long. Cas slowly looked up at him, just a foot away, and Dean dropped his hand. “Yeah, so, try playing that.”

They probably spent an hour like this, Cas occasionally handing the guitar back to Dean for a better demonstration, Dean sometimes playing little bits of songs he knew. He contemplated playing the one he taught himself most recently but remembered the  _blue eyes_  and decided against it. Eventually, they were interrupted by Sam’s yell of, “ _Dean!_  When’s dinner? I’m hungry!”

“Oh, right. I have to go make dinner. You good with entertaining yourself for a bit? I think I was going to make BLTs or something,” he said to Cas, who nodded. Then louder, “Half an hour, Sammy!”

*

Castiel followed Dean down the hall to the kitchen and living room, where Sam was sitting cross-legged on the couch, poring over a textbook. While Dean busied himself in the kitchen, Cas strayed over and took the empty space next to Sam. “Hey. What are you reading about?”

“The Civil War. But it’s  _super_ boring,” he groaned. “I’m not getting any of this. Like, it’s really hard to remember all the important parts, and I have a quiz on Monday.”

Cas peered over to see the part of the chapter Sam was reading.  _Advantages and Disadvantages of the North and South._  “I could help you study,” he offered.

“Yeah! Thanks, Castiel!” Sam grinned and surrendered the textbook to him. “Ask me questions.”

“Okay, what were the Northern armies good at? What did they have a lot of?”

“Um…open minds? And like…not racism?”

Cas laughed. “No. Well, kind of. But, no, I mean what did they produce a lot of in the North that helped in the war?”

“Oh. Guns?”

“Yes! Which gave them an advantage over the South. But what did the South have that the North didn’t?”

“They farmed a lot. So, food, right?”

“Yeah! See, you’re good at this.”

*

As the bread was toasting, Dean watched Sam studying with Cas one room away. He was over there treating Sam like his own brother, so different from his other friends who usually acted like Sam was just a kid and not someone actually really intelligent and worth talking to. Cas was just that kind of person. Dean could kiss him for being so wonderful. Well, Dean could kiss him for a lot of reasons, but that was just one.

After he finished assembling the dinner, the three sat around their small kitchen table, talking and laughing and eating together. He was glad Cas didn’t ask why their dad wasn’t at home, or if he was on a trip or something, because that would have ruined the whole feeling of having a real family, even though Cas was just a friend.

_Just a friend._

They went back to studying after dinner, while Dean cleaned up and washed dishes. When he was done, he wandered back into the living room to ask Cas if he was planning on going home, but saw him curled up on the couch, head on the armrest, chest softly rising and falling.

“Cas?” Dean whispered. With no response, he decided Cas was, in fact, asleep. He let out a quiet, amused breath and sat himself down in the chair beside the couch. Maybe this was a little weird, because Cas was unaware, but there was no one around to give him that face, that  _oh I’m so sly I caught you staring_ face, so he could look at him all he wanted. He wasn’t staring. He was just…appreciating. Appreciating the mouth he hadn’t been able to stop looking at since it had been on his just a week before. Appreciating the hair that was always, without fail, flawlessly disheveled. It made Dean imagine running his hands through it, made him want to ruffle it up even more.

His thoughts were halted by the buzz of Cas’ phone on the table behind him. He whipped around, startled and grabbed for the phone. The screen read ‘Home’ with a cheesy family photo, including Cas, Naomi, a stern-looking man that must be Cas’ dad and a couple more guys he assumed were brothers. He hit ‘answer.’

“Hello. Uh, this is Dean,” he said quietly, moving further away from Cas so as not to wake him.

It was Naomi. “Dean, sweetie! Is Castiel available?”

 _Not available enough._  “He actually fell asleep on my couch,” he said, turning to get another glance of him and now understanding the phrase ‘sleeping like an angel.’ “Do you want me to wake him up?”

“Oh, no, that’s all right. Is he spending the night there, dear?”

“He can, it’s fine with me. And I think he’d be okay with that.”

“Okay, Dean. Thank you! Have a good night.”

After he hung up, he went back to his room and pulled his duvet from his bed, carried it to the living room and draped it over Cas. It just seemed like the right thing to do. On his way to the bathroom, he ran into Sam in the hall.

“Dean, do you like Cas?” he asked abruptly.

“What? Yeah, of course I like him. He’s my friend.”

Sam raised his eyebrows. “Yeah, but like.  _You_  know. You were just in there looking all…wistful.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment.  "Wistful?“

” _Dean_. Come  _on_.“

“Okay, Sammy. Fine. Yeah. I like Cas.”

A knowing smile crept onto Sam’s face. “Good. I like him too. As in, I think he’s a cool guy. Not as in, I want to put blankets over him and stare at him a lot like you do.”

“Oh, shut up,” Dean growled, playfully shoving Sam, then quickly taking on a serious tone. “But don’t go tellin’ anyone, got it? Especially not Dad.”

Sam nodded. “I won’t.”

“All right. Now go finish your homework.”

*

Castiel awoke groggy and disoriented, but incredibly comfortable. Before he even opened his eyes, he smelled Dean all around him and wondered for a moment if they’d somehow ended up sharing a bed for the night, and how long he’d been sleeping. He blinked himself further awake and realized he was still on the couch, just with Dean’s blanket forming a warm and sweet-smelling cocoon around him. Dean was nowhere in sight, so he closed his eyes, pulled the blanket closer and breathed it in. He debated getting up to find Dean but decided he’d come back to him at some point. He was too comfortable to leave the couch, anyway.

“Ah, you’re awake!” As he predicted, Dean had returned. His hair was wet, and he was just completing the action of pulling on a t-shirt when he came into the room. Cas caught a glimpse of Dean’s surprisingly defined muscles and the little wisp of hair just above the top of his sweat pants. He felt the warmth seep to the surface of his cheeks and pretended it didn’t come from seeing a particularly attractive strip of his friend’s bare stomach.

“Yeah, I’m awake. How long did I sleep?”

“I think we finished dinner around seven…and it’s eight-thirty now. I took a shower,” he added.

Cas shifted to free one of his arms. “Ah. I was up kind of late last night, so… yeah. Um, did you put this blanket over me?”

“Oh. Yeah,” Dean nonchalantly ran a hand through his damp hair.

_Dean Winchester is the actual sweetest person I’ve ever met._

“And your mom called,” Dean added. “She said you can spend the night.”

A few hours later, when sleep started to sound like a good idea, Cas and Dean brought a few more blankets and pillows into the living room so Dean could set up a sort of bed in the reclining chair next the couch. For a while, they just talked, about nothing in particular. Movies, books, funny things that happened in their classes. As the minutes passed, Cas could feel unconsciousness around the corner, but one thing was still eating at him.

“Dean?”

“Yeah, Cas?”

“How can you tell if you like someone?” He worried Dean might get the wrong idea and quickly added, “Because I don’t know how I feel about Meg. And maybe I shouldn’t keep going on dates with her if I don’t have the right feelings for her.”

*

He was quiet for a moment. If he said something wrong, or anything too obvious, Cas would know, and then he’d probably get all uncomfortable and close up and maybe stop wanting to even hang around Dean. So he was careful.

“Honestly, Cas, I think if you have to question dating her, you shouldn’t be dating her. When you really like someone…it’s hard to get them out of your head, you know? And you want to be around them, all the time, and when you’re with them, you don’t want it to be over.” He stopped to take a breath, and thought about the day, and the day the week before, and all the other days with Cas, and went on. “And whenever you touch them it tingles, and you feel it there in your hand or your shoulder even after they’re not touching you anymore. You think you love everything about them, and maybe you do. And every time you think about them, which is always, it all sounds like every cheesy love song. I think that’s how you know.”

Cas was silent and Dean held his breath, on edge, waiting for a response and hoping for one he was almost sure Cas wouldn’t give. When he still didn’t speak, Dean mentally kicked himself for overstepped some line.

*

In the dark and quiet of the room, Dean’s voice sounded full of longing. Cas had never heard it like that before. He tried to piece the words together and finally spoke when he was satisfied with the sound of it.

“I don’t…think I feel any of that with Meg.”

_Because I can’t get you out of my head and I want to be with you all the time. Because when you kissed me I felt it for days, and I’m pretty sure I love everything you are._

_Because I feel all of it with you._

There was so much else Castiel wished he could say, but couldn’t. He heard Dean shift in his chair, probably moving to look in Cas’ direction, though they couldn’t really see each other in the dark.

It was a long time later, Cas thought, when Dean did speak again.

“Hey, Cas?”

*

“Yeah?” came his whispered response.

It was a bad idea. A terrible one, really. But Dean was starting to care less about things his instinct initially told him were bad ideas. He was past the point of no return, here.

“Do you mind if I break our promise?”

“About…last week?”

“Yeah.”

“Um. No, I don’t mind. I…I kind of wanted to talk about it, too.”

Dean was one hundred percent certain Cas could hear his heart pounding.

“Okay…”

Cas took in a breath, a bit shakily. “But, you first.”

Everything was suddenly so much more difficult. Breathing, talking. Forming complete thoughts. “Uh, well. I liked it. I liked kissing you.”

And the words were out. They left Dean’s lips and Cas heard them and they were known.

“Oh,” Cas said, sounding a little awed. “I, um. I liked it too.”

Dean thought about getting out of his chair and taking the three steps to the couch and leaning over and kissing Castiel. He though about crawling onto the couch and wrapping his arms around him and holding him close as they fell asleep. But that would be too much, too soon, and Dean still didn’t even know if Cas liked him, or just his kiss.

Though he had a pretty good idea. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think originally I intended this to be a slow burn, but that didn't happen. Like at all. Oops.  
> Also again with me making Dean way more feelsy than canon Dean...but isn't that what we all want?


	8. Chapter 8

That was it. Castiel just couldn’t do this anymore.  _Tonight_ , he decided the next morning _, I will go out with Meg and then explain what’s going on. And tomorrow, I will talk to Dean again. I will tell him what I have, by that time, told Meg. And that is my plan._

Dean dropped Cas off at his house on his way to work, and fortunately, it wasn’t awkward. They just seemed to be smiling a lot more than usual, but there was no weirdness when Cas got out of the car, no _‘so, about what we talked about last night_ …’ It was fine. Cas was feeling pretty great.

Up until he met Meg at the movie theater. He’d let her pick the movie, and she picked something with zombies that Castiel wasn’t super interested in. Right now, he decided to just go with whatever Meg wanted to do, like purchase the largest possible bucket of popcorn. They headed to the theater, and Meg rambled about the party she’d gone to the night before during the previews. Cas mentioned staying over at Dean’s, which made Meg go quiet for a second before one of the movie trailers sparked her into a new conversation topic.

The movie was scarier than Cas thought it would have been, but he tried not to let Meg notice that he kept closing his eyes when the main character was about to turn a corner of the abandoned hospital. Every so often there would be a sudden scream, and Meg would latch onto his arm. He considered letting her hold his hand, but he wasn’t in the mood, and his hand was covered in popcorn butter anyway. The movie was okay, he guessed, though he kept getting distracted and thinking about the things Dean said the night before.

When they were sitting on the benches outside the theater waiting for Meg’s sister to come pick her up, Meg must have noticed.

“Hey, Clarence.”

“Yeah?”

“I was talking to Carmen at the party and we started talking about you, and then about Dean. And, you know, Carmen said something kind of funny. You want to know what she said?”

Cas was about to answer when she cut him off. “She said, I better keep an eye on you, because if she didn’t know any better, she’d say Deano’s got a big ol’ crush on you.” She laughed. “Isn’t that hilarious?”

He felt the flame of embarrassment flare in his cheeks. He knew she was staring daggers at him. Usually her stare was more like…dinner knives, he’d say. But she sounded sharper than normal.

“Uh, n-not that funny,” he mumbled. He braved the glance over at her and watched her face slip immediately from malice to something closer to heartbreak.

“What,” she said, voice flat.

Castiel shrugged, looking away again.

“Oh god,” she breathed. “Oh, no. She was serious.”

“Well, maybe, I don’t know. But how would she…know…? I mean, if he did?” Cas said hesitantly.

She narrowed her eyes at him, questioning. “Did…did you guys…?”

“What? …Meg, what?”

“I don’t know! You slept at his house last night! Maybe something happened. Things just  _happen_  around Dean Winchester.” Meg’s voice had lost her edge. She rested her elbows on her knees and let her head fall to her hands.

“Nothing happened! I don’t even know if I… we just talked. About, uh, a lot of stuff,” Cas hurried to explain.

“So, what, are you two like…”

“Dean and I aren’t anything–”

“And what about us, then?”

He was quiet, gauging his next words. Then he sighed and shook his head. “I’m sorry, Meg.”

“Yeah?” And this time, she wasn’t being aggressive. “Well. Thanks. I guess.”

For a few minutes, Meg and Castiel sat in silence, watching the clouds of their breaths in the unexpectedly cool afternoon air. Then Meg turned to him. “So…Dean likes you? Really? Because I’ve never heard of him… _liking_  people. More like, he’ll hook up with a girl, once. And that’s it. Even going out with Carmen more than once was unusual. And since when is he into guys? I mean, no offense, but…you know.”

This halted Cas for a moment, and he felt doubt slide around thoughts he’d been somewhat sure of. Dean hadn’t actually confirmed anything, aside from enjoying that kiss. Like Dean had said the day before about “girlfriend territory”…he didn’t do that.  _I don’t want to assume anything. She has a point. Why would he be into me anyway? I’m just…Castiel._

“Um. He didn’t specify.”

Meg raised an eyebrow. “So he might not? …Hm.” She exhaled deeply, producing more steam. “Okay. But that’s only half the issue.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, do _you_  like him. Because I’m sorry, but I  _know_  you don’t like me. I was rubbing your arm for like, half an hour in there and you didn’t even react. And ever since homecoming you’ve been, I don’t know, tense around me.”

 _Do I like him?_ At first, when the inkling of the possibility had entered his mind like a drop of cream into coffee, mixing in with everything else inside his head,  Castiel thought he didn’t.  _Dean? No, of course not. He’s just a friend._ But the longer he thought about him, the more it grew. He wanted more. He wanted to kiss him again. For longer. He wanted Dean’s strong arms wrapped around him, enveloping him, and holding him tight. So much it made his chest hurt and his heart race. After a painfully long pause, he answered. “I think I do.”

“Like Dean?”

“Yeah. I like Dean.”

*

Just as Dean was leaving work for his afternoon break, he nearly slammed right into Castiel.

“Oh! Dean! Hi, sorry,” Castiel said, clearly flustered.

“’s alright. Hi, Cas. What’s up?”

He shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his hoodie and shrugged. “I just wanted to stop by after the movie with Meg, since your shop’s close by.”

“Isn’t the theater like ten blocks away?”

“Well. Yeah. Eleven, actually. I also kind of…wanted to talk to you.”

Cas’ words made Dean’s breath catch in his throat, so he just nodded and choked out, “Let’s walk.”

They ended up on a park bench near the library a few blocks away, warming their hands with cups of coffee they’d bought from the café next to the Siren. Neither of them spoke for a minute. Dean could tell Cas was nervous. He kept running a hand through his hair to keep it off his face and staring only at his knees. The steam from his unsteady breath mingled with the steam from his coffee as he brought the cup to his lips. His ears were staring to turn pink in the chilly air and Dean wondered for a moment if that sweatshirt Cas was wearing was warm enough. It was a surprisingly cold day for October.

“ _Dean,_ ” Cas said suddenly, sounding nearly exasperated.

“Hm?”

He slowly turned to face him. “You’re staring at me.”

Immediately, Dean felt his face go hot. Because he  _was_  staring, wasn’t he?

“Why do you stare at me?” Castiel asked quietly.

“I…” He fumbled for words and let them fall away. “Um…”

“You do it… _all_  the time.” His tone was very nearly  _accusatory_. Or even hurt.  _Is Cas angry at me?_

“I used to think you did it because you thought I was weird,” Cas went on, gaining just a hint of confidence. “Or stupid. But you didn’t seem to have a problem with me otherwise, so then I thought, ‘maybe that’s just Dean, maybe he just  _does_  that,’ but you don’t stare at Jo or Charlie or Adam that way. Not the way you stare at me.”

Now it was Dean who had to look away. He could feel Cas’ eyes on him now, and his stomach fluttered. “I never…thought you were stupid,” he said at last. “Maybe a little weird, but, uh…I like that.” He gave a nervous smile. “I like that you’re…different. I like that I’ve never met anyone like you.”

Cas’ didn’t speak, so Dean went on. “And yeah, maybe I stare at you. Cas, I’m sorry, but I…I can’t help it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…God, Cas. You’re…” But no word Dean could think of fully captivated what he felt when he looked at him. No word Dean wanted to verbalize, anyway.  _Attractive_ wasn’t strong enough, and  _beautiful_  didn’t sound right, though Cas damn well  _was_. “You’re just… _Castiel_.”

*

He gaped at Dean. He’d never heard anyone utter his name with such profound admiration. It was the same thought he’d had earlier,  _just Castiel_ , But Dean had flipped its meaning. Castiel wasn’t some weird kid, some awkward, off-brand version of his older and better brothers. Castiel was someone worth Dean’s eyes, and Dean’s affections, it seemed. Cas’ only response was a look of wonder and disbelief.

Dean took in another deep breath. “And…I want…”

Cas found himself leaning forward with anticipation. He knew Dean wasn’t a master of words, but it seemed like such a struggle for him. “What do you want, Dean?” he urged gently.

“I want to be with you.”

Dean turned to face Cas. His eyebrows were raised with an unspoken plea and their eyes locked. The affirmation floated to him and took a second to sink in. Then before his brain even registered what he was doing, Cas laid his hand on top of Dean’s on the bench in between them, and leaned forward and kissed him. It was sudden and sweet, and Dean instantly kissed him right back, pressing their lips tighter together with all the desire of someone who had been waiting for the chance.

It may have only been ten seconds or so, but when they pulled apart, Dean’s face was flushed completely pink and his mouth hung open with surprise and relief. “Oh,” he breathed faintly.

Cas closed his fingers around Dean’s. He looked down at the coffee he was still holding in his other hand and smiled.

“I’d like to be with you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seem to have gotten impatient with this chapter...


	9. Chapter 9

“Dean, you’re so…aglow,” Charlie observed as Dean settled into his seat in English on Monday morning.

He grabbed some papers from his bag and shuffled them around on his desk, distractedly. “Yeah, well, I had a good weekend.”

“Did you, now?” She raised an eyebrow.

Before Dean could throw some snark in Charlie’s direction, Castiel appeared in the seat in front of him. “Hello, Dean,” he greeted cheerfully.

“Hey Cas!” Dean said, unable to keep was he was sure was a big, dumb smile off his face. “How was your weekend?”

There was a little knowing flicker in his eyes. “It was really great.” And wow, Cas was already blushing. Something about that really got to Dean, in the best of ways. It’s not like they  _did_  anything, really. It had been the most innocent little kiss, and Cas was blushing at the memory and  _why is that so cute_?

Not to diminish it or anything. It had been unexpectedly wonderful. And the best part? He hadn’t initiated it. That was all on Cas. Which was totally  _not_  how Dean expected it would go, but he sure wasn’t complaining.

“Yeah, mine too.”

As Castiel turned back around to face the front of the room, Dean caught him smiling. He looked back to Charlie, who had both her hands flat on her desk, head turned toward him, eyes wide. After a second, she scrabbled for her notebook and flipped to the back pages where she and Dean usually wrote notes.

 _Castiel has you SMITTEN!_  She scrawled earnestly, practically shoving the notebook at him when she was done. Dean rolled his eyes. Upon his lack of response, Charlie reached over and added,  _What did you two do this weekend?? OMG, did you hook up?_  

Exasperated, Dean snatched her pencil.  _No, we didn’t hook up. For once, it’s not like that._  Charlie read, and her eyes grew wide again.  _I know, I’m as surprised as you,_  he wrote when he saw her face.

_So…? Did you ask him out, or what? What happened?_

Dean held one finger up to his lips. Charlie folded her arms, stubborn.

 _Fine, he kissed me,_ he wrote at the bottom of the page.

Charlie couldn’t hold back her small squeal, and Cas, along with a few other classmates, turned to look at them. Dean gave a nervous laugh and flipped the notebook shut.

After school, when Dean went to his car, he found Cas waiting there. He was leaning against the back fender, ankles crossed, backpack slung over one shoulder.

“Hello, Dean.”

Dean couldn’t help but grin at him. Somehow, every time Cas greeted Dean, it was just like the first time they met. Shy smile, nervous eye contact, and everything.

“Cas,” Dean said with nod. “What’re you doin’ here?”

“Well, I have to get home soon, because Gabriel’s coming home today and I’m supposed to help cook dinner, but, um…I wanted to see you. I mean, I know I see you in English and at lunch, but…”

Try as he might, Dean couldn’t stop smiling. He looked around the parking lot for a quick second, just to make sure no one important could see them standing there grinning at each other like  _girls._  “It’s okay, Cas, I know what you mean.”

Castiel breathed a tiny, nervous laugh that made Dean absolutely melt. “So, Dean, um…I realized I never really…asked…”

 _Oh, and that was a flutter. My heart actually just fluttered._  “Asked?”

“Yes. Uh…do you want to…be…”

Dean laughed a little. “What,  _boyfriends_?”

The thought had sounded dumb in his head –  _Yeah,_ boyfriends,  _Castiel Novak and Dean Winchester, boyfriends_  – but as soon as he let it out of his mouth, it sounded much more appealing than he could have thought.

And Castiel was so nervous he was biting his lip.  _Shit, that’s cute_. “ _Do_  you want me to be your boyfriend, Dean?”

“Oh my god, yes,” Dean breathed. He glanced around the nearby cars again. “Hey, c'mere,” he said, taking Cas’ hand and pulling him around to the side of his car, into the space between the Impala and the pickup truck in the spot next to him.

“What?” Cas whispered, eyes wide. They were crouching down, now, hidden from view in the shadow of the truck.

“I just…” Dean started, then cut himself off and pulled Cas into a kiss. When they broke apart, Cas was smiling again. “Yeah, you can be my boyfriend, Cas. Can we just…”

“…Not tell anyone?” Castiel finished. “Yes, that’s fine.”

“Thanks.” He still had one hand on Castiel’s shoulder so he pulled him closer once more to kiss his cheek. “You’re…awesome, Cas. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, standing. “And say hi to your brother for me, okay?”

*

Castiel got home just a few minutes before Gabriel. He barely had time to take off his shoes before he heard his brother’s car engine enter the driveway.

“Castiel! Baby brother!” Gabriel cried after throwing open the front door and running over to wrap his gangly arms around Cas.

“Hi, Gabriel,” Castiel smiled fondly. He stepped back and let his father and mother get their hugs in, too.

“Welcome back, sweetie,” Naomi said, mother warmth all over her face.

Not long after dragging his luggage up to his old room, Gabriel wander into Cas’ and started poking around his dresser. Castiel spun around in his desk chair to face his brother. “Can I help you?”

“I want to hear about your life, tell me what’s going on! I won’t ask about girls, if you  _really_  don’t want me to,” he said, picking up some of the CDs Cas had left on his dresser after coming home from Dean’s last weekend. “Hey, when did you start listening to…Blue Öyster Cult? And, what is this, Led Zeppelin?”

As the opportunity to talk about Dean arose, Castiel became more open to having a conversation. “Oh, well, I met this guy. His name is Dean Winchester, and he works at a music shop called the Siren. He bought me one of those CDs and he’s letting me borrow the others so I can ‘experience some quality music,’” he explained, making full use of air quotes. “Dean’s really cool. He’s definitely my closest friend here. He…wait, I told you about Meg, right?”

Gabriel sat on the end of the bed and propped his feet up on the trunk Cas kept at the end. “You  _didn’t_! Who is this 'Meg’?”

Internally, Cas rolled his eyes. If only his brother would get that excited when he talked about Dean. “Well, she asked me out. But before you say anything, it didn’t end up working out. Like, we went on three dates, if you count homecoming. And. Um,”  _And I found out who I’m really into._  “Yeah, she kissed me.”

“All  _right_ , Cas! Score!”

“Gabriel, you’re not listening.”

He frowned slightly. “Oh. Sorry. I’m all ears.”

“She didn’t think we were working out. So, uh, I don’t think we’ll be going out anymore.”

“Aw,” Gabriel muttered without looking up from the stack of books on Castiel’s bed. “That sucks. Did you like her?”

By now Castiel had completely abandoned the essay he’d been writing. He kicked at a stray sock on the floor. “She was kind of pushy, to be honest. I think mostly it was that when she kissed me at homecoming, it sort of…weirded me out. I know that sounds stupid, but has that kind of thing ever happened to you? You kiss someone and they just kind of…don’t work for you?”

Gabriel appeared to be paying more attention now. “Hm…once I kissed a girl who smoked, like a lot, and that was pretty gross, but other than that I can’t say I’ve experienced the same thing. That is weird.”

“I was…talking…to Dean about it. He said I probably just didn’t have any real experience to compare it to.” He didn’t know why he was going into this. He wasn’t totally sure how Gabriel would react if he told him everything, but they were basically best friends and had told each other everything since they were little.

“Yeah, just kiss more people!”

“Well. I did,” Cas said, after a moment.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“I kissed Dean.”

His eyes grew wide. “Whoa,” Gabriel said quietly. Not reprimanding, not shaming, just surprised. “What?”

“Actually, Dean kissed me. But I asked him to,” he went on. “I just had to see what it felt like. And we’re close, so I thought…I don’t know, it was…kind of in the heat of the moment.” He looked to his brother, trying to read his face.

“You kissed a guy?”

Castiel looked down at his lap where he was twisting his fingers together. “Yes.”

“Did you, like, enjoy it?”

He tried making eye contact. “Yeah,” he breathed, almost without realizing he had been holding in a breath. “It was really nice.” A little smile crept onto his face when the next thought entered his head. “It was even better the second time.”

Gabriel gasped, leaning forward suddenly. “ _Oh?_ ”

His surprise was delicious and only encouraged Cas to explain further. “After Meg and I decided it wouldn’t work, I went to talk to Dean. We got coffee and sat by the library downtown. And you know what he said?”

“What did he say?” Gabriel asked, fully engaged now.

“He said he wanted to be with me. And his mouth was  _right there_  just waiting for me to kiss it! So I  _did!_ ”

“Whoa, Castiel! I didn’t know you were…”

“Neither did I! But then…Dean…happened.”

His brother grinned with what looked to be excitement. “So…you want to tell me more about this Dean?”

Cas could feel himself glow with…what was that,  _pride_?

“Yeah, absolutely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's the last chapter of what I wrote four years ago. Let me know if you like it, and if you'd want to read more?


End file.
